How long were you in college?
About six years.

Can I go to the bathroom?
Wait until the last person gets back, please.

Maybe they already came back?
Maybe they never left. I suppose there’s no way to tell.

Are you married?
In a manner of speaking.

Do you know “South Park Mexican”?
We feel married, I think is what I mean to say.

How much do substitutes get paid?
We may get married in the way that you mean, or it may turn out that we’re already as married as we need to be. How familiar are you with John Updike?

What is “a score”?
It means twenty – like “a dozen” means twelve.

So “four score” equals four?
I think we can rule that out.

You went to college six years to be a substitute?
You can go to the restroom now.