A Proponent of Truck Nuts Has His Say


Q. Your truck seems to have decorative testicles hanging under the rear bumper. Why?
A. They have to hang somewhere, and the rearview mirror just doesn’t work. This way they come across as “in your face” without actually being in mine.

Q. What about those who opt not to decorate their cars with genitalia at all?
A. I see that sometimes and I just think, “well, there goes another eunuchmobile.” To each their own I guess.

Q. Couldn’t you have hung them somewhere less public?
A. Well, obviously I could have. I don’t think questions like that are really meant to be pondered by free men.

Q. So do all the vehicles in your family have testicles?
A. If only life were that simple. My work truck has an oversized vagina that a lot of folks seem to find pretty startling. My wife’s Camry is undergoing what is turning out to be very costly gender reassignment.

Q. I don’t see a penis – why the omission?
A. Actually it’s right there tucked up over the rear axle so it doesn’t drag.  It can be pulled down for display during tailgating events or parades.